I’m the girl who prefers one rose instead of a dozen. I’m the girl who would rather stay in on a Friday night than go to a wild party with random strangers. I'm the girl who wouldn’t make you wait on her hand and foot, but would do anything to make you happy. I’m the girl who would enjoy having a movie night rather than going to some fancy restaurant. I’m the girl who would rather stay up all night sharing secrets than going out and getting drunk. I’m the girl who won’t make you hold her bags, but would rather hold your hand instead. I’m the girl who will love you more than anyone can possibly dream of. I’m the girl who would give the world to see you smile.

i hate you, presentation.

Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did
And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back, but I know you did

never knew i needed....you

for the way you changed my plans
for being the perfect distraction
for the way you took the idea that i have
of everything that i wanted to have
and made me see there was something missing
for the ending of my first begin
and for the rare and unexpected friend
for the way you're something that i never choose
but at the same time something i don't wanna lose
and never wanna be without ever again

you're the best thing i never knew i needed
so when you were here i had no idea
you're the best thing i never knew i needed
so now it's so clear i need you here always

my accidental happily
the way you slime and how you comfort me
i must admit you were not a part of my book
but now if you open it up and take a look
you're the beginning and the end of every chapter

what can i do to make time slow down. for you and i. for you and i.
what can i do to make you mine.

people run in circles, it's a very mad world.

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Goin' nowhere, goin' nowhere
Their tears are fillin' up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dyin'
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
'Cause I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad world, mad world
Mad world, mad world

Children waitin' for the day they feel good
Happy birthday, happy birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sits and listen, sits and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson?
Look right through me, look right through me

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dyin'
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
'Cause I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad world, mad world
Mad world, mad world

i spent today missing you.

 

the painter loves green as much as you do.

you made me realise that age does not equate to maturity. and you made me realise the simple joy of being at the receiving end of simple thoughtfulness and concern. and all these made me feel like it's going to be worth every ounce of my fear of uncertainty.

we're walking on thin ice, we're hanging on a thread. but we're heading towards solid ground and i'm not going to walk alone anymore because you said, let's walk through all uncertainties together.

i walked away too. but i chose to walk away from the old life that made me miserable. not because of you but by the people around you. maybe that's what i should've done all along. to spare you. spare me. spare us. the trouble of hurting each other. and most of all, spare myself from being trapped in a dungeon that exists too many dragons that you, the knight, can't ever handle. you were never in control and sadly, that's the way it has to end. and i wonder to myself if you ever will understand why and how and what went wrong.

i'm ready to start walking again.

the hardest thing to do when you love somebody is to walk away. i guess that's what you did.

I said to the tin man

"Sorry can´t help ya 

They ripped my heart out long time ago"

And now I´m feeling like the cowardly lion 

I wanna break out but I´m paralyzed 

The yellow bricks led me staright to the wizard 

He said it´s all your state of mind 

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes 
Clever trick

Well, I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images
And when you left, you kissed my lips
You told me you would never, never forget
These images

No

i just want to be happy. now. and forever.

feeling out of sorts today. the unsettling feeling inside just refused to go away. i hate feeling like this. and i hate the cough that makes me feel worse. i hate coughing. i love the drowsy feeling from the meds though, leaves me feeling high and though i'm really very sleepy now, i refuse to climb into bed.

i think i think too much. and i think i should stop opening my heart so much in order to prevent any hurt from coming. i don't know why but it seems as though it's going to come. sooner or later.

i guess i always have this issue with my inferiority complex and always thinking i'm not good enough for this that and everything. including you.

insecurity

when you're feeling insecure, the problem lies not with the problem but with yourself. so get on with it and stop sulking inside.

the quiet, the peace, the rain pelting on my window pane. 

there's this special kind of feeling that makes me want to come back for more. today tomorrow and every day after. what is it that intrigues me so much. i've been watching myself grow and i've been thinking about where i'm supposed to go. and then suddenly i'm no longer watching myself and thinking. i'm not thinking at all. suddenly i'm soaring through the clouds, not really sure if this is just a dream.

and so far away you've been, makes me wonder about how you've been. i'm thinking about your thoughts, if they still stay the same or have they changed. you know i never meant to hurt you and it doesn't matter what i mean anyway, i know the damage i've done. how can i make you understand, how can i make you into what i wish you are right now. i don't know and so i'm doing nothing. doing nothing and letting you walk out of my life like you never existed. 

how can you be sure what i'm writing when i sometimes don't even write what i mean? don't be too sure of what you're reading cos you might be wrong and you could turn out to be a fool. again.

when you're happy, i guess you don't need to think much about anything. just make sure that life goes the way you want it to go cos life goes on anyway.

life goes on and you go on and i go on and we all go on. just remember that we were once in love before. you and i. all of you, remember me even if i don't exist in your life anymore. if you were a part of me, you will always be that same part of me. sitting somewhere in the depths of my heart.

could it be that finally i'm on the right track no i'm not never was never will be. could it be that fate has landed me where i am now but no i'm going where i want to go fate has no hands it can't hold me. could it be that i'm tired of all those things and now i have all these things no i was never really tired just sick.

i can never be sure of what it is i want now cos maybe i can never ever get near to what it is i want anyway but you know it's so easy to pretend that what you want is what you need or that what you need isn't what you want.

if you could would you decipher all that's on your mind my mind their mind?

i wouldn't. cos i'm always the one asking the questions but fearing the answers.

i'm telling you, i feel different tonight.

how can this feel so right? i think i like the way you look tonight. and every other thing just passes me by and i take no notice i don't care. as long as you're here tonight.

the lure of the unknown is so magical, so strong, there's no stopping me from moving along with the spells it casts. there's no room to think about what it is i'm doing and what is about to happen next. there's not even time enough to consider the consequences. why think when it will all end up the same. ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

how is it possible...i asked myself so many times in the past. but i never ever bring it up again. because time has proven it to be all too possible. impossible is nothing so says a certain branding.

we've all come to a stop at some point in time and we are left alone to ponder about the things that matter to us. what do we think about? are those really things that matter in the long run or do we think about the moment. this moment in time when everything stops and there's just room for half a thought.

and i should have known better but i didn't and i don't want to. i like the way i am.

too many times it has happened. too many times i had plunged myself into a dark hole that has unknown contents lurking beneath.

have you ever felt inadequate?

the flu and cough and everything is getting to me and there's this sudden need to cry but there's no tears left.